A Mom's Little Life Lessons

Upon delving into Motherhood I envisioned a situation where I would be bestowing upon my children all the things I had learned along the road of life, giving them the benefit of all my experiences (okay, well, maybe not all…) However, I was vastly mistaken. I really had no idea that being a Mom was going to turn out to be so educational. Who knew? But yes, it is true. There are so many things to be learned as a Mom from your kids. So, for the benefit of my fellow Moms, soon-to-be Moms, someday hope-to-be Moms, or even not-in-this-lifetime-gonna-be Moms, here are just a few of my recent life lessons:

1. If you take a 3 foot piece of PVC pipe, stand only 1 foot from a large, oversized picture window and attempt to use the pipe as a baseball bat in order to hit an illusive fuzzy ball. You will most likely, in failure to make contact with said fuzzy ball, make contact with the window instead …results will not be favorable.
2. If, while standing on a three legged stool (which is clearly meant to possess four) you attempt to demonstrate for your brother a newly learned skateboard move you will, in all likelihood, flip off stool and break your arm in the process of trying to salvage the maneuver. Furthermore, if you attempt a “flip in the air off of arm of a couch,” after having your cast off for two months, just to see if it is possible and then try a grand finish that involves all the weight of your body coming down on previously injured arm, do not be surprised to hear inevitable crack from very same place.
3. If you attempt to use a cabinet door to smash a box that is clearly not “smashable” you will probably end up with a cabinet whose hinges are damaged beyond repair and a cabinet door that hangs open in much the same way a Mom’s mouth will when she next enters kitchen.

Now, these lessons are valuable indeed. But, I have to admit that most recently, I realized I was craving to understand a more valuable (and possibly more elusive) lesson. It dawned on me that the knowledge I strongly desire to acquire from my kids is their seemingly effortless ability to zone in on what truly matters to them – to legitimately feel the purest form of success; that - life is good, high five - kind of success. Not just every once in a while, but on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis. (And, although I am sure all children possess this same zest for life, I would argue that my 7 year old son, who has been known to explode with such tearful utterances as “all the seasons of my youth are being wasted while I am in school”, has a special corner on that little market.) Now, the moment I stumbled upon this realization, I had to know. How do they do it? What is their secret? What are they hiding from the rest of us? (Those sneaky little short people!)
So, I did what any dedicated, seeker of knowledge and truth would do. I conducted my very own field study; you could say, “Right in my own backyard.” I observed, took notes, and analyzed data. I watched when they weren’t looking and participated when they were. I asked questions and probed for answers. I joined in their glory and basked in their triumphs. And by the end of my study, I had compiled a list of variables demonstrating how to unequivocally measure success…

Toads Collected: 11
Homeruns Hit: 1
New Friends Made: 13
Creations Concocted in the Kitchen: 4
Fireflies Captured, Observed, Then Released: 23
Winning Games Pitched From Beginning to End as an All Star: 1
Soccer Balls Caught in a Row: 50
Stars Counted: 37+
Fly Balls Caught in Play: 3
Dodge Ball Games Where Mom Was Creamed: Multitudes
Completed Tree House: 1
Triumphant Practical Jokes: 5
Games of Catch with Dad: Too many to count
Times Struck Out: 0
Bonfires where Hot Dogs and Marshmallows were consumed en masse: 3
Songs Learned: 2
Swims at Lake: 8
Cliff Jumps into Lake: 6
Creative Ploys to keep from doing Chores or Going to Bed: Bazillion
Birds Rescued From Cat: 2
New Great Books Discovered: 3
Days Left of Summer: 30

How is success counted? On my own, I have not a clue. But in conclusion to my self-immersed study of true experts on the subject I have discovered one thing for sure: By these standards, life is good - high five kind of good. How could it not be!

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Just Another Day in the Life

Today, when I came home from the store, there was a goat in my front yard. Yes, that is what I said… a two horned, split toed, gray, bleating goat, that for some reason decided my boys were its new BFFs and proceeded to follow them everywhere they went. This, of course, was completely distressing to my 3 year old border collie who, while possessing the necessary herding instincts, lacked the benefit of any actual experience. She, therefore, proceeded to take advantage of the opportunity by chasing said living, breathing farm animal round and round the house in an effort, I suppose, to regain some respect for her lineage. While the goat, who clearly was not used to being subject to such base treatment, finally found safe haven on my back porch, nose to the door, pleading for entry (leading me to only speculate as to the goat’s previous place of abode and the habits therein…).

From there, the instinctual help from her ancestors seemed to abandon my worn out, panting border collie. Or perhaps, she simply decided that herding in 90 degree plus weather was just not what it was cracked up to be. Either way, the staring contest commenced between goat and dog and continued until animal control (which consisted of guy down the street coming to put animal in truck and find it a home) arrived to spring the poor goat from a seemingly irresolvable conflict. While my border collie marched into the house with her head held high as if she had just herded South Fork’s entire stock single handedly, I contemplated why this was possibly the best part of my day.

I knew the image of my overweight dog chasing that wide eyed goat around and around my yard would be a source of laughter for me for a long time to come. And of all the gifts in this life, the one I most cherish is the ability to laugh and find the humor. When I can laugh with my boys, I am happy. When I can invoke my husband's laugh, I am blessed. When I can laugh instead of cry, I am saved. And, when I can make others laugh, I am truly the luckiest person in the world.

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